1st Bn Duke of Wellington's Regiment
"Signals Platoon War Stories"





The Day We Bombed Eggy - by - The Webmaster


When the lads were skint and couldn’t afford to go to the NAFFI, they could tick a couple of sandwich’s and a mug of coffee while payday, from a little Chinese guy, who we called Eggy. He had a small trolley with a tin box on one end filled with sarnie’s, cakes and pies and two large urns on the other end filled with tea and coffee. His pitch was directly outside our barrack block, we knew when he was there because he would shout. “Cheesy Annie Sannie”, in his best broken English. One day we went to tick off Eggy, but he wouldn’t let us have anything, he said we still owed him money. "We'll get our own back on him”, said Alan, pointing at Eggy, and with that we stormed back into the barrack room and then into the toilet block, where we found him filling a condom with water in the bath. “What you doing with that?, I asked. “I’m gonna water bomb him”, he replied. The condom was by now about two feet long and a foot wide, laid in the bottom of the bath. “How you gonna move that?”, I asked. “Watch”, replied Alan, has he ran back to the barrack room and returned a few seconds later with a blanket. He worked the blanket under the condom. “Get hold of a corner each”, he said. “Sod off, I want nowt to do with it”, I said. “Me neither”, said one of the other lads. “I'll do it myself then" he replied. Alan strained and struggled but could barely lift it. “For gods sake come here, you’ll give yourself a rupture”, said another of the lads, grabbing a corner of the blanket. I grabbed another corner and someone grabbed the last one. and together we lifted it out of the bath. “Right come on, up to the roof”, said Alan. “Oh no, that’s far enough”, I said. “Come on you’ve already got hold of it, lets get it up to the roof”, said Alan. We managed to get the water bomb up there and laid it down while Alan crept to the edge like a sniper and peeped over the wall. “That way a bit”, he said, lining it up with Eggy. “Right are you ready”, he said. “One”, we pulled the corners of the blanket upwards. “Two”, we pulled again. “Three”, and with an almighty tug we launched the water bomb condom towards Eggy. It wobbled through the air from side to side like a giant jelly, and burst as it landed smack bang in the centre of Eggy’s sandwich box. “What a shot”, said Alan, peeping back over the wall. We heard Eggy screaming “I tell company commander”. Then we heard him run into the barrack block still screaming, “I tell company commander”. “He’s got a great big carving knife”, said Alan. With that we made our escape, big brave, hard rough tough soldiers running away from a little Chinese bloke with a carving knife.
Yep!, that sounds like us!!!!!!!




The Morris 1100 - by - Brian Threlfall


Remember that light blue Morris 1100 you used to drive, ( I typed drive.but it was more aimed than driven), I still get nightmares of hurtling down the A1 in thick fog (at 60+ miles per hour), and when I pointed out that visibility was atrocious, you replied.......
"Oh I thought my glasses had steamed up " (I was terrified),



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